Woman Rips Fart: Stains Carpet: Claims it was Rape!

Feminist Mary Stains and her women's group are filing a lawsuit against men, after she ripped a fart that stained her carpet. She claims that the fart was patriarchal in nature, and that it is guilty of not only raping her in the a$$, but staining her carpet as well. She is seeking $150.00 in constipation for the costs of having her carpet cleaned, and another $150,000,000.00 for menstrual anguish and psychopathic damages. Mary and her women's group assert that the fart was part of patriarchal conspiracy and raped her in the a$$.

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Police sketch artists were able to compile a sketch of the fart, which is still at large:

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An all-points-bulletin has been issued to apprehend the fart dead or alive:

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One man allegedly spotted the fart and decided to heroically try to apprehend it. Jeffery Buttocks engaged the fart which tried to flee once Mr. Buttocks questioned it about the Mary Stains case. Mr. Buttocks gave chase to the fart, and sustained severe injuries.

MEN-Factor reporters did some research, and what they found was shocking and startling. Be careful before reading, as what follows may shock and or startle you. Make sure you are seated properly and do not have a heart condition. This is what our research team discovered:

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