Storm Tossed

Since the past few days I have felt like a storm tossed boat dealing with
hurts
hostility
sadness
anger

Mama, Sonia and I have taken a battering
mentally
emotionally
and spiritually.
Our faith is being tested.
Goliath looming large on the horizon is challenging the servants of God. A spirit of strife wants to rip us to pieces.
Sometimes I feel as if I am walking through the valley of the shadow of death.
Please pray for us.

These verses give us courage and strength

Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.

1 Peter 3:9

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1 Peter 1:4-7 (New International Version)
4and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.
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2fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
3For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. 4You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood in your striving against sin

(Hebrews 12)

Prayer needed.

I Long For

1. A problem free day
2. Someone to come and take over some of my responsibilities, even for a day or two.
3. That my ailing elderly relatives were problem free. An invalid aunt' s day nurse is giving her problems which is back firing on me. It is causing a lot of stress. This aunt thinks I am a fool . She is a manipulative , controlling person very difficult to deal with. She will depict the kindest person on earth as an ogre. Result - Tension & stress.
4. Cool weather.
5. Someone for moral and physical support. Sonia 's presence is a godsend.
In my worst moments I want to be like Noah' s raven who flew off into the unknown.
But in the middle of all this I have to focus on Romans 12:1
"Therefore I urge you brothers, in view of God 's mercy,to offer yourselves (your bodies)as living sacrifices,holy and pleasing to God -which is your spiritual worship."

The problem with LIVING SACRIFICES is that they are alive and want to wriggle off the altar. Please pray that I may stay on the altar ALIVE and KICKING. A dead one is of no use to God.

I got this cute video in my inbox which cheered me up immensely. This little fella is so much like my Jimmy. But Jimmy was long hared and snow white.

GIRL INTERUPPED

Dear Friends, Since April 27th the telephone people snapped my Internet connection, because I was given a new phone number. The did not inform me that I had to go through a long , arduous proceed ure to get my connection restored. (And mind you I am paying for for the services I am not m getting - the jerks)

I will take another week to get my Internet back.I am angry and mad and frustrated will the delay. But have to hold my breath.

I am using a computer shop to create this post. once I have my feet (Internet) I will be back. Holding my breath till then.
Had a crummy week, no internet and sewvere electricity problem

I took pictures of some buildings

on one of my rickshaw rides.
This is a popular hotel.

New buildings are coming up everywhere

A Bank and the Lakme Beauty Salon

The Salon is so expensive that one has to visit the Bank before stepping in.

So its a good idea to have them

in close proximity of each other.

LOL!

A new shopping complex under construction.
The whole day today I was not well.

Had terrible stomach cramps and felt cold and sore.

Seems like some kind of virus.

Sheeba is not used to seeing me laying down

so she was quite curious as to what 's wrong.

She kept pawing and licking me

and kept me company at the foot of the bed.

I am some better now.

The cramps are milder.

But still don 't feel too good.

Oh well, its the change of season!

Dear friends,

Please pray for me. I am not feeling too good.

Dealing with dealing with negativity and hopelessness around me, just suddebnly drained me out.

I am struggling.

Power-ful Grouse

Early morning our lights went out between 3 to 5 am.
Then we had our daily power cut between 10 am to 1 pm
All this in the 100* plus sweltering humid heat.

When the current came back the voltage was so low we could hardly run the fan and the swamp cooler.
The power supply kept fluctuating and blinking like Christmas lights.
All the appliances in the house went clackety clack.
I had to switch off the fridge.
The cooler pump burnt out.
And I could barely run the water pump to re-fill our tank.
I had prepared home made pizza base and sauce to make pizzas for dinner, but could not do so as the oven could not work.
(Sonia made spicy eggs with potatoes, so that was nice)
Our power was restored after 7 pm.
We called an electrician to fix our cooler, which was a relief and the fridge could be turned on.
Mother ate a little, but she is very low and weak and has no appetite.
I feel a spirit of fear and depression has taken hold of her.
Please pray for release.
After a hot, weary and trying day I can say
"We can rejoice too,when we run into problems and trials for we know they are good for us-they help us learn to be patient"
Romans 5:3 (The Living Bible)
Prayers needed for Mother Hazel.

Wade in the Waters

I like the photo above which a friend emailed to me.

This man back bent is wading through dark waters searching for something and what he finds is the reflection of the magnificent Taj Mahal.

Tonight I am heavily burdened.

My mother 's unhappiness causes guilt and distress in me.

I will take her to see a surgeon tomorrow and set a date

for her laproscopy for gall stones.

Mom does not have any pain, her blood work was also clear.

Since the death of 2 close relatives last year and both of

BIL Prem 's parents she 's been on edge and anxious.

My adopted sister Sonia is coming on Saturday (May 9th)

Her presence will be a great comfort and help.

Please pray for my Mother Hazel

The laproscopy

Logistics

Caregiving duties

Financial needs to be met

(we don 't have health insurance)

Someone has to be in the hospital 24 hours.

Protection from the heat

Courage and strength for

Mama, she is quite low.

Anxiety sets off her acidity problem.

That in turn depresses me and makes me guilty.

Its hard to express it.

Although right now I feel I have

swallowed a sackful of hay and its stuck in my throat.

I know that

God is good

He has not left us

We are in the center of His plan.

I will rejoice in Him

and His joy will be my strength

no matter what my brain tells me.

I am not alone in this.

There are millions who are in the

similar situation, or worse.

Thank you for your prayers.
I feel so much better after sharing this.

I can breathe better.

रेड तुएस्दय -Red Confessions

This sari belonged to my younger

sister Namrita, she gave it to me.

Its hand-woven cotton.

We call it hand loom textile.

Its about 25 years old.

Namrita called this morning and talked with mama and me for a long time. She has an Internet connection on her Nokia, but is trying to

get her PC hooked up.

I bought this water melon from the

market today.

My adopted sis, Sonia advised me to always

ask the fruit wala to cut open the melon

and show the inside flesh to make sure its red and juicy.

Otherwise you are left with an unripe, useless one.

I like watermelon with a little salt and pepper sprinkled on it.

Black salt is even better.

Made a bottle of ketchup.

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Thank you praying for us friends.

My mother is some better, but has lost her

appetite and this is where the confession part

of this post comes in.

I don 't know about other caregivers

but when my care-givees (charges)

don 't eat properly I get the

caregiver 's frustration virus.

I see my mother so weak and pathetic, when she refuses nutrition I

become

frustrated, impatient and angry too.

I feel like a rusted thorn bush.

A kicked and bruised tin can lying in

a mud puddle.

Can anybody relate to this?

I need help with my

caregiver 's guilt.

I feel like I have screwed up everything.
I feel distressed and dismayed.

Burn Out

In the afternoon I suddenly felt

terribly sick -

Vertigo, nausea,headache and extreme weakness.

As a result of this I could not attend my cousin 's wedding.

It came as a huge disappointment to me -

I had been looking forward to it

and Sonia too.

She also did not go without me.

I 've been going through

a lot of stress these past few days -

Christmas

my aunt 's illness and surgery

hospitality

church affairs etc.

Today my body called the shots
I rested in the afternoon and now

I am feeling better.

But my head feels heavy.

I need a good rest and sleep.

Tomorrow Sonia, Avi and Abner will leave.

We will miss them.

Their visits add colour and life to our lives.

They will travel by road.

Due to heavy fog ,highway visibility

is very low.

Please pray for their journey safety.

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My inability to go the wedding made me very blue

but the Lord is teaching me to accept the ups

and downs of life at the beginning of the new year.

His ways are not my ways.