You are NOT 5'11"!

A date with "K".

Her ex-husband was a drug addict that overdosed. She explained to me that when she was younger, she thought that the way to be "popular" with people was to act like a slut. Definitely a specimen worth studying. I learned a lot about her through our phone conversations.

This one was through cupid. We talked on the phone extensively, and decided to meet at Cheng's for lunch on a Sunday.

I drove into the parking lot. There was a red-headed woman sitting in a beat-up pick-up truck smoking a Marlboro cigarette.

I approached the truck, "K?"

She said, "Hi Richard. Let me finish smoking my cigarette, then we'll go in."

"No worries - how's your morning been?" I asked.

"Good", she put out her cigarette, and stepped out of the truck.

I started into the restaurant. She was right behind me.

"You are NOT five-foot-eleven!" she said bitterly.

"What?" I said.

She was a little huffy, "I am like 5'9", and I am taller than you!"

I said, "Here, stand against this wall". We stood against the wall of the restaurant. I was about 1/2 an inch taller than her.

I pointed down to her shoes, "See those big wooden klogs you are wearing - they are like 2 inches tall almost - I am like 2 and 1/2 inches taller than you that means...".

She still looked disgusted.

"Do you believe that I am 5'11" now?"

"Yeah, okay." she said.

We started heading to the door of the restaurant again. I stopped and turned to face her. "Hey K."

She said, "Yeah".

"Enjoy your lunch OK?", I gave her the "peace" signal.

I walked back to my car, got into it, and left.