New Scientific Breakthrough: Scientists Now Know How Women get Raped!

Throughout the years, many fuzzy sweater wearing turd-brains scholars at universities and complete retards scientists in their parents basements laboratories have wiped drool off of their mouths wondered: What exactly causes rape? For the last several decades, all kinds of morons with their heads up their asses great thinkers have produced many totally f*cking whacked out plausible theories as to why rapes happen.

Rape caused by pornography: This theory was formulated by prudish fat ugly women who hate sex and men early feminists in the 1960's. Statistics have shown that rape decreases when pornography is abundant however.

Rape caused by provocative or revealing clothing - this theory was formulated by women who make any dress look like a sack filled with rabid hogs believe that certain articles of clothing can get a man too excited, and hence he won't be able to control himself in their dreams.

Rape caused by high heels - this theory was introduced by clumsy oxen women who can't even stand on their own two feet women who believe that men are fetishists who lack self-control, or so they wish, when presented with such fetish.

Rape caused by Heavy Metal or Rap Music - this theory is just plain stupid suggests that certain lyrics in song, while accompanied with harsh noises can cause a man to violently attack a woman sexually.

Rape caused by The Secret Society of Patriarchs - this theory was fabricated by mentally ill women who need serious help women who believe that there is a secret society of men who purposely rape women when they "get out of line".

Rape caused by Spaghettios - this idea is clearly the product of a severely sick mind being pondered by various sh*t for brain poofs scholars, suggesting that certain chemicals in certain foods actually trigger what complete idiots scientists call "the rape response".

Rape caused by hamsters - Now this is just stupid, obviously, somebody forgot to take their pills this morning theory is currently under investigation.

Rape caused by the dead pigeon on 4th street - WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GOD DAMNED MIND. If you f*cktard scholars aren't going to take this seriously, why should the rest of us. Clearly, rape is a serious crime.

While all of these theories are completely insane lend themselves credibility, they have all easily been discredited by people with I.Q's higher than 5 not quite fit the bill when explaining how rape actually happens.

Now, in the 21st century, at the start 2011, scientists have come up with a "duhhh no sh*t sherlock" radical new theory as to why women get raped:


Women get raped because a rapist decides to rape them. All other surrounding factors are irrelevant.

Retarded queers Scholars in Universities are questioning this new radical theory though because they are total f*cktards who have no dealing in reality skeptical about it. Scientists are confident that this new theory will hold water however.