Cruising Part II

This one is kind of funny. I am sure it will anger some people. I am not entirely sure that I should post it, but - here goes.

If you read the last post, you'll know that when it came to cruising the Reno strip, I was a dismal failure at it - at the age of 18.
I had no pick-up lines. I would say things like:

"Hello", "How are you?", "How's it going?", "How are you tonight?" etc...

A couple of years later, two different friends of mine insisted that we go cruising. I told them what a dismal failure I was at it, and that cruising was not my forte.

They insisted. I told them of how much rudeness I got when speaking to the young women cruising the strip. They told me that it was because I was "riding" in the car, instead of "driving" it - and that this time I would be the "driver" so things would be different.

I agreed to go. We took my car - a beat up Volkswagen Beetle.

As the night progressed, nothing was different at all. I got the usual responses from my introductions (full of unnecessary rudeness):
"f*ck you", "f*ck off", "get lost", "go away", "you're ugly", "get a facelift", "I am way out of your league", "I'm too hot for you", "You make me want to be a lesbian" etc...

My friends did not seem to have the same problem (at least not to the same degree). They were in a state of disbelief. They were trying to figure out why the women had such an attitude towards me.
At one point, a woman tried to speak a poorly rehearsed "get lost" line, it came out way wrong: "You think you're a paper plate with some diarrhea on a silver platter..." she started crying as she said it.
(The correct phrase is, "you think you're hot sh*t on a silver platter, when you're just cold diarrhea on a paper plate" - in case any FEMINAZI's are reading and interested).

I thought to myself, what a bunch of f*cked up b*tches.

I told my friends - I did not know if I was just horrifically ugly, unattractive to women, or somehow repulsive - I just seemed to rub women the wrong way when I was younger.

My friends told me that I looked like somebody who belonged on the cover of G.Q. Magazine. They were sincerely surprised by the way I was getting treated by the women.

I said, "Look man - it's cool, you guys can borrow my car - I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow - just bring it by later tonight, or tomorrow - you guys can hang here - but this just doesn't work for me - I am either ugly, or just unattractive - or something - it is a waste of my time to be here".

They looked at each other, one of them said, "Dude, we're not gonna take your car man - that doesn't seem right".

"Well, you can if you want, I am cool with it - I just gotta get outta here, this is lame - these women - you guys are getting some looks - and heckles too - me - nothing - you really should borrow my car - meet some women".

One of my friends said, "No, lets go to the grocery store, I have a better idea."

My friend went into the grocery store, and came out a few minutes later with 4 dozen eggs.
"OK, let's go cruising again. Only Rich does the talking. Ron, take two boxes of eggs".

I started driving.

My friend continued, "Here is the plan - Rich, you are going to be nice, polite, kind, and introduce yourself just as you were doing - If a woman is rude to you, me and Ron will egg em".

Ron shouted, "F*CK YEAH!"

I pulled the car over, "We're just gonna get into trouble. It's not worth it. Do you know how many police are downtown - with everybody cruising?"

Friend: "Dude, you are not an ugly man or anything else, for some reason, those women are just being bitches. I thought you were making up all those stories - I cannot explain it. You always complain that women at college treat you the same way - well, this is your chance to do something about it."

I shook my head (no).

Friend: "If women are going to treat you like this, you might as well have some fun with it, and return the bad attitudes you are getting - besides, you will be driving - me and Ron will be throwing the eggs - you are just a by-stander or whatever."

Me: "Ugh, What do I say to them - a real good and cool pick up line - because what I am doing now isn't working..."

Friend: "No, just do what you were doing - just say hello... what's up... and that stuff..."

Me: "First sign of any trouble or police and I am getting the hell out of the area."

Friends: "OK".

We returned to the downtown strip.

Sure enough, the first woman I spoke to was exceedingly rude: I said Hi, she said f*ck off. I turned to look at Ron and Aaron - they were both sticking their torsos out of the car (through the windows) and chucking eggs.

I looked back at the woman - she was covered in egg goo, looking down at the steering wheel, wondering what just happened. My friends were laughing hard.
Long story short: My friends ran out of eggs. We switched driver/pick-up guy positions - when women were rude to my friends, I got to throw eggs. There was one woman I spoke to who did not get egged - my friends seemed disappointed by her response of "Hi!" (with a smile).

I am not sure what is more pathetic about this though.

That this is one of the fondest memories in my life.
-or-
The attitudes I kept getting from women in my youth.
Unfortunately, it seems like the "growing up and becoming women" doesn't happen until they turn 40 or so!

Cruising - Part I

In Reno - when I was younger, people in their teens and early 20's partook in something called "cruising". They drive their cars up and down the main strip, and supposedly "introduce" themselves to one another. Basically, it is an opportunity for young men and young women to meet.
If my memory serves, the first time I went cruising I was 18. I went with a friend - in his pick-up truck.

I have never used pick-up lines. My forms of introduction have always been things like:

"Hello"
"How are you?"
"How's it going?"
"What's up?"

You get the idea.

I said such things to the young women in other cars - and received a volley of rudeness in return. It was very confusing. I knew that if a man was being "obnoxious", he might get such insults hurled back at him - but I had no idea that simply saying "hello" was now considered "obnoxious".

One young woman in particular stands out in my memory - because I met her again later in life.

I said, "How are you tonight?".
She replied, "Don't look at me, I'm too good for you", in a real snotty tone.
My friend laughed a little.
I said, "What's so funny? Did I do something to deserve that? Was I being a 'jerk' or something?"
These questions puzzled me for the rest of the night.
Each time we drove by this woman, I looked at her carefully; she had a smirk on her face. If I did not know any better, I'd swear the only reason she was there was to practice rudeness for no apparent reason.

Her car had a custom license plate. I will not mention what it was.

Now, let me tell you about the time I "re-met" her in 2003 - 15 years later.

I caught a nasty bug called the Norovirus. I went to the hospital for treatment.

The doctor walked in - a woman.

She said, "Hi. It looks like you have that nasty stomach bug that is going around".

"It would seem so", I replied.

"You look familiar, have we met?"

"No, I do not think so".

She continued doing her 'doctor' things (which included 'monitoring' an IV since I was severely dehydrated).

She re-iterated, "You really do look familiar - I'd swear that we have met somewhere before - like a long time ago - maybe we went to high school together?".

I said, "I get that a lot - I guess I have that kind of a face."

She left. When it comes to license plates and faces, I have an excellent memory. The doctor was the woman who said, "Don't look at me, I'm too good for you".

She came back in a while later.

I said, "(phrase omitted)" - I uttered what her custom license plate said back then.

Her face went blank, "what" she said, laughing nervously.

"You used to drive a car with a custom license plate that said (phrase omitted). It was a metallic sky blue Nissan Sentra. I went cruising with a friend in 1988 in his pick-up truck. I said 'How are you tonight' and you said back to me 'Don't look at me, I'm too good for you'..."

Her face was going from white to red.

I paused for a moment then continued, "I thought that was rude".

I said all of this in a very cold and emotionless tone. I stared at her intensely - I wanted an apology, but I was preparing for a barrage of rudeness.

Her face was red with a shocked expression. Without saying anything, she left the room.

A few minutes later, an Asian man walked in, "How are you feeling?" He smiled.
I said, "Aside from the obvious, I'm OK".

He was definitely in good cheer - perhaps it was professionalism, but he seemed a little too "happy". He started talking about what I had, and how to deal with it, and some medicines they were going to prescribe. He told me I was free to check out, and proceeded to the door.

Just before he got to the door, he slowed down, turned around and said, "I just gotta ask - what did you say to her?"

"Say to who?"

"Say to Doctor (I cannot remember her name)?"

"Oh - well - uhm... We met before - a while ago, and she was being a less than pleasant person".

He looked puzzled, "Oh... Well - whatever it was - she is requesting to take the rest of the night off." He shook his head as if confused, and smiled.

I wondered - was he smiling because he no longer had to "deal" with her...
He did seem excessively pleased that she was leaving for the rest of the night.
Or was he just smiling - as well rehearsed professionalism....

"Revenge is a dish best served cold"
"What goes around comes around"

I did not expect the reaction I got from her. I expected her to be rude and arrogant, just as she was back then - but instead, she seemed embarrassed by her actions as a young woman.