When Love Takes Over

I have met someone. Someone beautiful in every sense of the word. Someone I would like to grow with and experience the world with. Someone I want to share life with. Someone I want to belong to. But I am afraid that I might have forgotten how to..

Why is it so difficult to enter a new relationship without feeling a haunting presence of relationships past? Whenever meeting someone new you should at least give them a fair shot at the game before ruining everything by comparing them to your exes.

But what if your previous relationships have caused you a great amount of pain and grief and left deep scars inside? Should you refrain from ever attempting another relationship in fear of getting hurt further more or should you try and wipe the slate clean and start from scratch?

Meeting Christofer was unexpected. It happened when I wanted it the least but needed it the most.This gorgeous man stole my attention and bit by bit he stole my heart too. At the beginning I thought it was just a short lived fling but little did I know it would turn into something meaningful and lead me to wake up every morning with him on my mind and a smile on my face.
At first I acted like a jerk towards him. I admit that. I wasn’t ready for something that serious and I suppose my defence mechanism kicked in to see just how serious he was about the whole thing.In all honesty, I feel ashamed for how I acted. I was pushing him away subconsciously so that he’d dislike me, end this whole story and then I wouldn’t end up getting hurt. Instead I was the one doing the hurting.

Second time round I had time to reflect on what had happened and how I acted. When I saw him the butterflies in my stomach went crazy. I realised just how wrong I was and I was happy that he still felt the same. I felt lucky. We spent some great days together and suddenly it was time for me to head back to London. He was going to work on the cruise ship and we weren’t going to see each other for over 3 weeks.

I guess the realisation of that fact woke up a whole bunch of dormant insecurities inside me and I started to freak out about the whole situation. Needless to say I have never been very good at these long distance type of situations yet I always seem to find myself in them – one way or another.Suddenly, the ‘ghosts of relationships past’ came to haunt me. I started feeling insecure about the whole thing. Why was he so interested in me? What could I possibly offer him? He’s hot and muscled while my definition has faded away since I haven’t been to the gym for months.My confidence flailed and I started to create a stupid scenario in my head – comparing him to some of the bastards I’ve dated in the past. I worked myself up about it and started to cause issues when there weren’t any. At one point I thought I had completely blown it. I let my insecurities take the better of me and we ended up having an argument. I felt awful.I couldn’t believe I had acted like that.

To my relief he wasn’t scared off that easily and we worked things out.Now I can’t wait for him to arrive. 6 days and counting. 6 days too long.I want to hold him in my arms and tell him how much he means to me. How sorry I am for acting like a jerk and somehow try and make it up to him.

And then of course there’s the make up sex. I’m not gonna say no to that.It’s the best type of sex to be had.. Apparently.. :)

I want to let him know that I am serious about this. That I am prepared to do whatever it takes to be with him and to make this work. That I want to experience the world with him. That I want to make his dreams come true. Make sure he wakes up each morning with a smile on his face. I want him to know that I will be there for him, no matter what. I want him to feel that he can count on me. Rely on me. Depend on me. I want him to be happy..

I have laid the ghosts of relationships past to rest. I have wiped the slate clean and I am entering this next chapter with a blank canvas. I just can’t wait to see the finished masterpiece. But that could be eons away..

Dan x

Women on the Couch

The individual who begins something worthwhile in life, who makes up his or her mind to do something really good, begins to experience a vast range of possibilities for accomplishment. The more we do, the more we see there is to be done. And to really maximize our potential for achievement, we must have as a foundation a certain amount of understanding of ourselves, especially understanding of our past.

And this means usually seeing how much we could have done, but didn't. Today on Healing Through Consciousness, we'll take a look at one woman's struggles to understand herself through her relationship with her family. And by extension, we'll reach out to offer something for all women particularly, and all men who love them.

Analytical Trilogy , the vast and comprehensive science we base our program on, is like that. Particular, individual analysis that can serve for all of us. Which is why we open our lines every week to take your calls. To help you first of all, of course, but also to help many others who may be dealing with similar issues. You can Skype in - healingthroughconsciousness our Skype name - or send in questions or problems you'd like us to address to our email joneshealing@gmail.com. This is a place you can call and really get help.

Who of us in our quiet moments hasn't taken some time to reflect on ourselves and our place in the universe? What are we doing, and why? Or maybe what aren't we doing that we should, and why not? Aren't these important questions?

My friends Susan Berkley and Gilbert Gambucci and I have been conducting a teleclass series www.trilogiaanalitica.com.br/abccourse.html recently and discussing these things. And noting that all of us have this feeling that we're not living up to what we feel inside. 12 cylinder engines firing on 3 or 4 cylinders is how we might put it.

A Brazilian friend of mine and I were discussing movies yesterday, and he was commenting that he was noticing a weakness in American films these days. That they always put the reasons for problematic behavior in the parents or some sort of familial or societal neglect or abuse.

And this follows the prevailing psychological orientation in America today. But Trilogy goes much deeper to look at the personal philosophy of life and attitudes that drive our experience. This makes a Trilogical analysis session much more profound and personal than we are used to. So conditions we suffer from or fears that affect our decisions are looked at from the point of view of being OUR problem, not a legacy we got from the traumas of the past.

This is good news that doesn't always feel like good news. But in the end it is the only thing that can help us move forward. I remember Dr. Keppe himself describing that in one of his recent books in this way: "If you don't see your involvement in this traumatic situation from the past," he was advising, "You will never be able to move forward in life."

This work we are doing on Healing Through Consciousness and in my other podcast, Thinking with Somebody Else's Head and here in Brazil generally, all has this purpose: to lead the human being to the goodness for which he was created by helping him become conscious of the evil he chooses. And evil can be as simple as bad choices - which do not, as it turns out, happen without a reason, often deeply hidden inside us.

I always invite you to find out more at our Trilogy portal. Lots of great stuff to explore there. And of course, I'm always reachable by email joneshealing@gmail.com.

Click to Listen to Program

We address this deep stuff every week on our program.

Paranoia Towards Affection

Paranoia Towards Affection

We are trying in our program to give people a place to call where they can really get help. For health problems, for how to cope with economic difficulties, for how to untangle the tangled webs we weave in our relationships.

The day-to-day difficulties that face us all. Now there can be some sense brought to them through the Brazilian school of Analytical Trilogy. A true psychotherapy that goes deep to the roots of what’s gone wrong, and that offers us a way out of the darkness.

We record our program every Monday at 2:00 pm Eastern time, when Dr. Claudia Bernhardt Pacheco and I are available for your phone calls. This is a therapeutic show, so it there’s anything that comes up as you’re listening, something you’d like clarified or some specific issue you’d like us to address, we’re available to do that. I encourage you to take advantage of this resource … Dr. Pacheco’s grasp of psychoanalysis is broad, and she’s an extremely generous and affectionate therapist with a knack for going to the heart of the problem. Her perspective is very clarifying and illuminating.

So, two ways to join us … by email at joneshealing@gmail.com and by Skype. Healingthroughconsciousness is our Skype name. Drop me a line if you’re interested in calling us.

Last week, we dealt with the problems of Mr. X, as we affectionately called him. He wrote us a long email about an ex-girlfriend he couldn’t stop thinking about. Every new woman was measured against her standard, and it was becoming harder to be with other women.

Claudia broached a couple of therapeutic perspective on our program last week, which is available through our archives at www.healingthroughconsciousness.com. Making Sense of Relationships was the program name and it’s highly therapeutic and refreshing. It’s also available as a Podcast through iTunes … Healing Through Consciousness the Podcast name.

Well, Mr. X. wrote us back. He loved what we did, and wanted to add some more. So, we got him online with us a couple of days ago. Anthony’s his name, and here’s how it all came together.

Click here to listen to this episode.