Part 2;
On that last night I had asked He-Man if he wanted to come with me and my friends to the notorious XXX-mas party at the SoHo House. He gladly accepted.
During the week I received more ‘cute’ texts and phone calls.
And I started to think about how I felt about the whole thing. I was looking at him and I couldn’t for the life of me understand what a guy looking like that wanted to do with a guy looking like me. And by that I mean body shape. He was incredibly muscular and extremely defined. His body was perfect on so many levels. Then I looked down at my scrawny little self and imagined the two next to eachother and I literally cringed. I know that sounds really bad but I just couldn’t get the image to sit right. After a few conversations with Emelie we came to the conclusion that I had so much more to contribute than just a smoking body and that he was probably looking past all that. That’s a logical conclusion, right?
The weekend came and leading up to Christmas I was a bit stressed out. I had so much stuff to do and sort out before flying to Berlin for 9 days. He-Man had known about my Berlin plans for a couple of months and although he was sad that I was going he seemed excited for me too.
Saturday was my only real day off and Emelie and I had spent most of it working on Johnny and Mikes present as well as last minute Christmas shopping. As you can imagine Oxford Street was a nightmare and we were running late to meet Tom and Neil for a last catch up drink before the holidays.
Earlier in the day He-Man had called to say he might be in Soho later that night and if I was there it would be nice to see each other.
To me it sounded like he was going to be out with friends anyway so I said I’d stop by when we were done with the boys.
It was getting late already and we were dragging all our shopping through the crowded streets, absolutely starving. Tom started to call impatiently asking where we were. He-Man texted asking if he should come in to town or not? I was confused. ‘I thought you were coming anyway?’ I said. ‘No, I just wanted to see you’ came the reply. It was almost half nine and we were over an hour and a half late to meet Tom and Neil. I was already stressed and didn’t know how long we would stay in town. It would take him over an hour to get in and I wanted to go home with all the shopping.
He sounded so disappointed in his reply I had to call and see what was the matter. He thought it would be fun and spontaneous – I thought it was stressful and unplanned. In the end he told me he was going out locally instead.
Emelie and I went for dinner and Tom joined to watch us eat. He was all dressed up and ready for a night out when Neil texted to say his car broke down and he was waiting for the RAC and didn’t think he would make it. We decided to call it a night and I invited them to the SoHo House party the next day instead to do the catch up properly.
Emelie suddenly thought I should invite He-Man over to ours now everything else fell apart and in that one chaotic instant it seemed like the right thing to do – be spontaneous and all.
I sent him a message saying that I was looking forward to seeing him tomorrow and I was sorry about the misunderstanding earlier. Adding that if he wanted to and hadn’t already gone out he was welcome to come over.
Inside Leicester Square tube station I started to realise the implications of the text I’d just sent. It was almost 10.30pm, it would be nearly midnight by the time he gets to mine. ‘Oh my God, he wants to spend the night!?’ was my first immediate thought. ‘Shit!’ came second. The house was a mess. With Emelie staying in the living room, all the Christmas stuff everywhere, dishes, clothes hanging out to dry.. I’d just had a massive Chinese meal, feeling grubby and disgusting after a days elbowing down Oxford Street. Not the best of times to be inviting someone you fancy round.
As we exited Brixton tube my phone instantly rang. It was He-Man, all excited and upbeat asking if he should bring anything when he comes over. I panicked!
I told him that I sent that text by mistake before I had thought everything through. I tried to explain to him all the reasons why he couldn’t come round and I was honest. I told him about the mess and shopping and clothes on dry and dishes but somehow no matter how true my excuses were they sounded incredibly false.
Disapprovingly he said he understood and that it was cool. I reassured him I was looking forward to seeing him the next day at the party and he said he couldn’t wait.
‘Oh my God, you didn’t just say all that’ Emelie looked at me, horrified. I was paralysed. That sounded SO bad. At least I could make up for it tomorrow, I thought.
I woke up the next day excited about the evening ahead and a little nervous about He-Man meeting my friends for the first time. I’d just gotten out of the shower and was about call him when I receive his text; ‘Dan, I have to be honest. This isn’t going to work. I really like you but you don’t seem to know what you want. We don’t seem to be on the same page. One day you’ll meet a man that steals your heart and I hope you’ll be happy. Me X’
‘SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAT????????’ Emelie yelled as I showed her the text. ‘But you’ve only been on a few dates!? WTF?’
‘Uh-uh. Oh no you don’t! That’s not how this game is played’ I thought to myself. I’d spent all that time fighting it and just as I was accepting it he’s ready to pull the plug. What a cheek!?
I got really upset. I didn’t know what to say to that. He wasn’t being fair and if my indecisiveness last night was to blame then I had to explain myself again. So I called him. Told him he was being unfair and that I really wanted him to come tonight.
It was weird. Instead of rebelling against it I actually really wanted him to come. And he did.
The group of us was at Rupert Street when He-Man arrived fashionably late again. Looking incredible. He’d been to the gym. He had a sun bed too. ‘Brownie points for effort’ I thought eyeing him up and down. He walked up to me and kissed and it felt as if the whole room was staring at us. Quite a nice feeling.
After introducing him to Tom, Neil and Isabelle I took him to the side to have a little chat about his dramatic text earlier. For the first time I started to believe that he really, wholeheartedly wanted to try and see where this was going.
We had an awesome night at SoHo House. My friends liked him and vice versa. They had a room with Christmas props where we ended up having a hilarious photo session. However the fun ended just before the stroke of midnight and we went our separate ways. We both had to wake up early but was meeting up the next day.
I invited him over for dinner at mine before I was leaving for Berlin. It was his birthday the day before New Years Eve and I wanted to give him a little Christmas/Birthday present. He’d loved Avatar so much we decided to go see it at the IMAX once I got back. So I made him an Avatar card and gave him the PS3 game as we talked about playing it. He was thrilled and pulled out a little bag himself. I wasn’t expecting anything at all so the surprise was obvious. He got me Lady GaGa’s Fame Monster album, knowing how much I loved it and didn’t have the actual physical album. He also got me Twilight on dvd. He couldn’t believe I’d still not seen it and wanted me to know why he loved it so much. He mentioned something about Edward saying to Bella how he couldn’t stay away from her and how much he needed her. He said if someone told him that, he’d just melt. It was also a follow-up plan for us to go see New Moon later.
He was thoughtful. And really sweet.
And this time it was just us.
Alone.
Finally.
I had outdone myself in the kitchen. My Thai Green curry, his favourite, was cooked to perfection and I was almost half expecting him to start purring. Maybe I put a little too much cream in it? Oh who’s counting calories anyway!?
We ended up in my room. Smoked a joint and listened to music.
It was nice to start to get to know him a bit better. With no interruption. But we still hadn’t had sex. Nor was sex ever mentioned. We made out a lot but that was as far as it went really. It was OK by me. After rushing into it last time I thought why not try a different approach? Plus, moving slowly is good. Getting to know each other and all.
He-Man drove home just after midnight after holding me for what seemed like forever as we were saying good bye.
He said he already missed me and couldn’t wait for me to get back.
I arrived in Berlin and had a great Christmas with Johnny, Mike, Emilio and Elliott. He-Man and I exchanged a few text messages and then spoke on the phone a few times. I called him on his birthday. He sent me sweet messages on Facebook and kept asking for time to hurry so I could come home and we’d go to SuperMartxe together on New Years Day.
Finally New Years Eve arrived and I flew back to London. I was excited about the next day. I texted him pretty late to wish Happy New Year but he never replied. I knew he was out so didn’t think much of it.
Then the next day I get a call from a friend telling me he saw He-Man with someone else last night. Adding that I wasn’t going to believe who he was with – a really good friend of mine!
I was gob smacked. I couldn’t believe the scenario that was described to me. I said it couldn’t have happened like that. It just didn’t seem right. My friend was here visiting from Dubai, with what was thought to be his boyfriend. How did HE, of all people out there end up with the guy I’M dating?
I texted He-Man a few times throughout the day expecting him to call me back. He never did. So I called and he finally answered in a sleepy voice. After the usual chit chat I eventually said ‘So I heard you met my friend from Dubai last night’ and the other side of the phone went all quiet. ‘Ummm… We need to talk’ came the reply.
I could feel the steam rise inside me.
On that last night I had asked He-Man if he wanted to come with me and my friends to the notorious XXX-mas party at the SoHo House. He gladly accepted.
During the week I received more ‘cute’ texts and phone calls.
And I started to think about how I felt about the whole thing. I was looking at him and I couldn’t for the life of me understand what a guy looking like that wanted to do with a guy looking like me. And by that I mean body shape. He was incredibly muscular and extremely defined. His body was perfect on so many levels. Then I looked down at my scrawny little self and imagined the two next to eachother and I literally cringed. I know that sounds really bad but I just couldn’t get the image to sit right. After a few conversations with Emelie we came to the conclusion that I had so much more to contribute than just a smoking body and that he was probably looking past all that. That’s a logical conclusion, right?
The weekend came and leading up to Christmas I was a bit stressed out. I had so much stuff to do and sort out before flying to Berlin for 9 days. He-Man had known about my Berlin plans for a couple of months and although he was sad that I was going he seemed excited for me too.
Saturday was my only real day off and Emelie and I had spent most of it working on Johnny and Mikes present as well as last minute Christmas shopping. As you can imagine Oxford Street was a nightmare and we were running late to meet Tom and Neil for a last catch up drink before the holidays.
Earlier in the day He-Man had called to say he might be in Soho later that night and if I was there it would be nice to see each other.
To me it sounded like he was going to be out with friends anyway so I said I’d stop by when we were done with the boys.
It was getting late already and we were dragging all our shopping through the crowded streets, absolutely starving. Tom started to call impatiently asking where we were. He-Man texted asking if he should come in to town or not? I was confused. ‘I thought you were coming anyway?’ I said. ‘No, I just wanted to see you’ came the reply. It was almost half nine and we were over an hour and a half late to meet Tom and Neil. I was already stressed and didn’t know how long we would stay in town. It would take him over an hour to get in and I wanted to go home with all the shopping.
He sounded so disappointed in his reply I had to call and see what was the matter. He thought it would be fun and spontaneous – I thought it was stressful and unplanned. In the end he told me he was going out locally instead.
Emelie and I went for dinner and Tom joined to watch us eat. He was all dressed up and ready for a night out when Neil texted to say his car broke down and he was waiting for the RAC and didn’t think he would make it. We decided to call it a night and I invited them to the SoHo House party the next day instead to do the catch up properly.
Emelie suddenly thought I should invite He-Man over to ours now everything else fell apart and in that one chaotic instant it seemed like the right thing to do – be spontaneous and all.
I sent him a message saying that I was looking forward to seeing him tomorrow and I was sorry about the misunderstanding earlier. Adding that if he wanted to and hadn’t already gone out he was welcome to come over.
Inside Leicester Square tube station I started to realise the implications of the text I’d just sent. It was almost 10.30pm, it would be nearly midnight by the time he gets to mine. ‘Oh my God, he wants to spend the night!?’ was my first immediate thought. ‘Shit!’ came second. The house was a mess. With Emelie staying in the living room, all the Christmas stuff everywhere, dishes, clothes hanging out to dry.. I’d just had a massive Chinese meal, feeling grubby and disgusting after a days elbowing down Oxford Street. Not the best of times to be inviting someone you fancy round.
As we exited Brixton tube my phone instantly rang. It was He-Man, all excited and upbeat asking if he should bring anything when he comes over. I panicked!
I told him that I sent that text by mistake before I had thought everything through. I tried to explain to him all the reasons why he couldn’t come round and I was honest. I told him about the mess and shopping and clothes on dry and dishes but somehow no matter how true my excuses were they sounded incredibly false.
Disapprovingly he said he understood and that it was cool. I reassured him I was looking forward to seeing him the next day at the party and he said he couldn’t wait.
‘Oh my God, you didn’t just say all that’ Emelie looked at me, horrified. I was paralysed. That sounded SO bad. At least I could make up for it tomorrow, I thought.
I woke up the next day excited about the evening ahead and a little nervous about He-Man meeting my friends for the first time. I’d just gotten out of the shower and was about call him when I receive his text; ‘Dan, I have to be honest. This isn’t going to work. I really like you but you don’t seem to know what you want. We don’t seem to be on the same page. One day you’ll meet a man that steals your heart and I hope you’ll be happy. Me X’
‘SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAT????????’ Emelie yelled as I showed her the text. ‘But you’ve only been on a few dates!? WTF?’
‘Uh-uh. Oh no you don’t! That’s not how this game is played’ I thought to myself. I’d spent all that time fighting it and just as I was accepting it he’s ready to pull the plug. What a cheek!?
I got really upset. I didn’t know what to say to that. He wasn’t being fair and if my indecisiveness last night was to blame then I had to explain myself again. So I called him. Told him he was being unfair and that I really wanted him to come tonight.
It was weird. Instead of rebelling against it I actually really wanted him to come. And he did.
The group of us was at Rupert Street when He-Man arrived fashionably late again. Looking incredible. He’d been to the gym. He had a sun bed too. ‘Brownie points for effort’ I thought eyeing him up and down. He walked up to me and kissed and it felt as if the whole room was staring at us. Quite a nice feeling.
After introducing him to Tom, Neil and Isabelle I took him to the side to have a little chat about his dramatic text earlier. For the first time I started to believe that he really, wholeheartedly wanted to try and see where this was going.
We had an awesome night at SoHo House. My friends liked him and vice versa. They had a room with Christmas props where we ended up having a hilarious photo session. However the fun ended just before the stroke of midnight and we went our separate ways. We both had to wake up early but was meeting up the next day.
I invited him over for dinner at mine before I was leaving for Berlin. It was his birthday the day before New Years Eve and I wanted to give him a little Christmas/Birthday present. He’d loved Avatar so much we decided to go see it at the IMAX once I got back. So I made him an Avatar card and gave him the PS3 game as we talked about playing it. He was thrilled and pulled out a little bag himself. I wasn’t expecting anything at all so the surprise was obvious. He got me Lady GaGa’s Fame Monster album, knowing how much I loved it and didn’t have the actual physical album. He also got me Twilight on dvd. He couldn’t believe I’d still not seen it and wanted me to know why he loved it so much. He mentioned something about Edward saying to Bella how he couldn’t stay away from her and how much he needed her. He said if someone told him that, he’d just melt. It was also a follow-up plan for us to go see New Moon later.
He was thoughtful. And really sweet.
And this time it was just us.
Alone.
Finally.
I had outdone myself in the kitchen. My Thai Green curry, his favourite, was cooked to perfection and I was almost half expecting him to start purring. Maybe I put a little too much cream in it? Oh who’s counting calories anyway!?
We ended up in my room. Smoked a joint and listened to music.
It was nice to start to get to know him a bit better. With no interruption. But we still hadn’t had sex. Nor was sex ever mentioned. We made out a lot but that was as far as it went really. It was OK by me. After rushing into it last time I thought why not try a different approach? Plus, moving slowly is good. Getting to know each other and all.
He-Man drove home just after midnight after holding me for what seemed like forever as we were saying good bye.
He said he already missed me and couldn’t wait for me to get back.
I arrived in Berlin and had a great Christmas with Johnny, Mike, Emilio and Elliott. He-Man and I exchanged a few text messages and then spoke on the phone a few times. I called him on his birthday. He sent me sweet messages on Facebook and kept asking for time to hurry so I could come home and we’d go to SuperMartxe together on New Years Day.
Finally New Years Eve arrived and I flew back to London. I was excited about the next day. I texted him pretty late to wish Happy New Year but he never replied. I knew he was out so didn’t think much of it.
Then the next day I get a call from a friend telling me he saw He-Man with someone else last night. Adding that I wasn’t going to believe who he was with – a really good friend of mine!
I was gob smacked. I couldn’t believe the scenario that was described to me. I said it couldn’t have happened like that. It just didn’t seem right. My friend was here visiting from Dubai, with what was thought to be his boyfriend. How did HE, of all people out there end up with the guy I’M dating?
I texted He-Man a few times throughout the day expecting him to call me back. He never did. So I called and he finally answered in a sleepy voice. After the usual chit chat I eventually said ‘So I heard you met my friend from Dubai last night’ and the other side of the phone went all quiet. ‘Ummm… We need to talk’ came the reply.
I could feel the steam rise inside me.
‘NO WAY! No f*cking way!!!’
Was this really happening? Was this for real? I couldn’t believe that the guy I was fighting off for so long, who was so persistent he finally turned me round was now doing a 360 on me. And ended up with one of my closest friends on top of everything. It was a joke, right!!?
I was speechless. He said he was sorry. He said he didn’t know it was my friend. As if that’s supposed to change anything?
I said good bye and hung up the phone. I didn’t know what else to say. I wasn’t sure how to react to this. On one hand I was glad that it happened now and not six months down the line. But on the other hand I felt cheated out of at least a shag, if not a meaningful relationship.
What baffles me the most is the fact that my friend and I look nothing alike. We are on two completely opposite spectrums of the scale. I can’t see how someone who’d go for me would go for him and vice versa. It just doesn’t make any sense. I’m Mediterranean, skinny and dark while my friend is tall, muscly and strawberry blond, as he likes to call it.
It dawned on me that my intuition was right. I mean, lets face it – muscle attracts muscle. Fact!
After I had some time to process the recent events I realised that I should have trusted my instinct. The little voice telling me that this didn’t quite add up. Further dissecting the situation it dawned on me that He-Man wasn’t really He-Man after all. He was a lost little boy who after his life fell apart resorted to buffing up in order to walk away with some dignity. On closer inspection I would have probably done the same. Unfortunately his confidence hadn’t quite caught up with his looks and he was split between what he used to want and what he could actually have.
I just got caught in the cross fire.
I’m not upset. Nor am I angry with my friend. In all fairness he didn’t know who I was dating at the time and he just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
I’m not even angry with He-Man anymore. He f*cked up and now he is dealing with the consequences. At the end of the day it’s his loss, not mine. I’m the one walking away with my head held high while he’s left wondering what might have been. At the end of the day he'll never know.
Right, I’m off to the gym.
Laters ;)
Dan
I was speechless. He said he was sorry. He said he didn’t know it was my friend. As if that’s supposed to change anything?
I said good bye and hung up the phone. I didn’t know what else to say. I wasn’t sure how to react to this. On one hand I was glad that it happened now and not six months down the line. But on the other hand I felt cheated out of at least a shag, if not a meaningful relationship.
What baffles me the most is the fact that my friend and I look nothing alike. We are on two completely opposite spectrums of the scale. I can’t see how someone who’d go for me would go for him and vice versa. It just doesn’t make any sense. I’m Mediterranean, skinny and dark while my friend is tall, muscly and strawberry blond, as he likes to call it.
It dawned on me that my intuition was right. I mean, lets face it – muscle attracts muscle. Fact!
After I had some time to process the recent events I realised that I should have trusted my instinct. The little voice telling me that this didn’t quite add up. Further dissecting the situation it dawned on me that He-Man wasn’t really He-Man after all. He was a lost little boy who after his life fell apart resorted to buffing up in order to walk away with some dignity. On closer inspection I would have probably done the same. Unfortunately his confidence hadn’t quite caught up with his looks and he was split between what he used to want and what he could actually have.
I just got caught in the cross fire.
I’m not upset. Nor am I angry with my friend. In all fairness he didn’t know who I was dating at the time and he just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
I’m not even angry with He-Man anymore. He f*cked up and now he is dealing with the consequences. At the end of the day it’s his loss, not mine. I’m the one walking away with my head held high while he’s left wondering what might have been. At the end of the day he'll never know.
Right, I’m off to the gym.
Laters ;)
Dan
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