These must have been the terminal thoughts of a young man called Goray who took his life yesterday morning.His relatives found him hanging by a rope in his dark hut in the village when they went to call him for breakfast.
Stories like these appear in the newspaper everyday. Today I read that 3 adults and 2 children killed themselves because they were wronged by a village council (khap panchayat).But Goray 's death came as a big shock to my Mama and me because we knew him since childhood. He had come to see us recently and we tried to help him.
We had known Goray since he was a kid. His uncle and family used to live in our church out house and helped us with odd jobs and errands. Vishamber (uncle) has a blue collar job in a government office. Vishambar 's son Chummu got involved with the law, so had to ask them to leave the church premises.
Goray worked as a houseboy and driver for government officers. But 3 months ago he lost his job. His married elder brother Kallu who has a criminal bent of mind gave him unending trouble. Kallu defrauded Goray to give him all his savings under the pretext of buying a house and sharing it with him. But he turned him away.
Kallu is married and has forced his wife to undergo several abortions.He has been involved in various anti-social activities. When Goray came to know that Kallu was planning to elope to Mumbai (Bombay) with another woman, he prevented it.
Kallu reacted with terrible anger and rage and beat up diminutive and frail Goray several times. The injured brother incurred severe head injuries and Vishambar paid for his treatment as the poor boy was destitute and had no where to go being penniless.
Goray 's father is an impoverished farmer and does not care for his family at all. Vishambar was sheltering his nephew for the past 3 months. He also finds hard to make ends meet as he has a large family to support.
About 10 days ago I called Chummu, (who has somewhat reformed himself and is married with a 3 yr old son) to fix my window swamp cooler. He came along with his pretty wife Manju who sat with my Mama and me and shared her family and life problems with us.
I will tell her story later on.
All these are village based people belonging to the peasant caste. Manju belongs to a higher caste. Chummu has a Bachelor' s degree and he does small electrician jobs.
While Chummu was fixing the cooler, Goray also came over . We met him after several month and he looked a mess. Skinny, weak and very depressed.
He shared his tragic story with us and said he was desperately looking for a job. With tears in his eyes he said he was contemplating suicide. Mama and I counselled him for a long time and asked him to pray to Jesus ( none of these people are Christians).
Our church groundskeeper said he would look for a driver 's job for him.I gave them Gospel portions and tried to encourage them.
Then Goray suddenly asked,,"Didi,(elder sister) can I make tea in your kitchen?" I immediately took Manju and Goray into the kitchen and showed them where everything was and said ;Go ahead and make tea for all of us, which we had with cookies.
Goray must have been feeling really destitute because he aske d me for vegetables. I had already made up a packet with what ever I had and gave it to him.When we paid Chummu we said use some of it for Goray too.
The news struck us very deeply. And my Mama was sick the whole day today, she suffers from nervous anxiety. Earlier this week Mama 's cousin sister passed away. I went to her funeral on Wednesday. This was grief upon grief.
These days people are giving up so easily. Depression, fear anxiety hopelessness is choking life out of people.Poverty fuelled by despair is pushing people over the edge.
Vishambar and Goray belong to Ganne village which was in the headlines earlier this month.
The newspapers reported that children of Ganne village were eating silica laced mud to assuage their hunger.Helped has reached that village just 45 kms away from my city.
Read the story HERE
But there is so much to be done. Our church groundskeeper Jags is very sick. Doctors suspect ulcers in his stomach. We are doing whatever we can and still more is needed. Please pray that the Lord fulfil our desire to help this poor man.The salary we give him is not enough for his medical treatment.
We believe our God -
"He raises the poor from the dust.
And lifts the needy from the ash heap'" Psalm 113;7
"How blessed is he who considers the helpless.
The Lord will deliver him in the day of trouble,
The Lord will protect him and keep him alive,
And he shall be called blessed upon the earth;
And do not give him over to the desires of his enemies.
The Lord will sustain him upon his sickbed;In his illness Thou dost restore him to health."
Psalm 41;1-3
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