Our Solar System
Jupiter, Mars, Mercury, Saturn, Neptune, and Pluto are all male names. Venus is the only female planet in the solar system. Even our sun, Sol, is a male. Feminists claim that this is a clear indicator of sexism and patriarchal conspiracy.
Feminist leader Edna G. Butts was interviewed: "Clearly, this is the reason for all the failures in my life - and the reason for failures in any woman's life. If more planets were named after women instead of men, we women would be more successful and better at mathematics and generally more successful at doing whatever."
We also interviewed a semi-good-looking woman to drive our ratings up a pinch, and convince people that not only ugly women think this way. Here is what she had to say to reporters: "It's no wonder I did so bad in school - all the planets are named after boys - all 4 of them. If they were named after girls, I probably would have gotten straight A's - even though I never studied. I am so glad I can blame my failures on men, and how they named the planets, instead of my own inabilities - I was starting to feel like I might have to go through the hard-work of improving myself."
Feminist leaders held a brain-storming session on how to rename the planets.As it stands, our solar system is named like this:
Our Solar System
Feminist leaders propose to rename it like this:
Feminist leader Edna G. Butts said, "Renaming the solar system like this will help girls do better in school." She then cut a fart, and shouted, "LOOKOUT! THE GOBLINS ARE BACK!", pulled down her pants and started throwing her fecal matter at bystanders while shouting "WOO WOO WOO WOO!".
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