Blue Like Jazz

That 's how I felt yesterday.

But I felt stronger today

as Ma showed willingness

to eat.

I tell you my friends

it is insufferably painful and baffling

to watch your parents (or elders)

decline physically.

Since my Dad died in 2004

I have started dreading illness and death.

I panic when someone close to me falls ill.

Maybe its PTSD, I don 't know.

I even have visions of my dog Sheeba dying and leaving me

in a terrible state.

Last year 4 family members passed away.

One was Aunt Sybil whom I cared for

5 years.

I feel, when the Lord calls my mother home

I will be left all alone.

Maybe I am over reacting.

but I know in the realm

of Paindom I am not alone.

There are many more

and they are facing greater hardships than I am.

That 's where Ephesians 6;10-18 fits in

10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
(Ephesians, New Testament, Bible)

Now that I have shed my tears in public

let me share these two smileys with you.