The Path of Fate

Is there such a thing as coincidence? It is a question I have been asking myself quite a lot lately.

A long time ago, on a friends recommendation, I went to see a clairvoyant. Somewhat sceptical, I entered the small and dark room making sure not to reveal too much of myself in my behaviour or conversation. I have heard that sometimes, the not-so-good ones, make guesses based on what the person unknowingly gave away during introduction or even by the clothes or jewellery they wore. I didn’t want to make the same mistake.

‘I will start by telling you about your past’ said the elderly woman as she separated the tarot cards in front of her. I looked at her, quiet but with anticipation. ‘This will be interesting’ I thought to myself.The cards were laid out in a circular shape in front of her as she told me, in great detail, about my troubled childhood, the uprooting at a young age and the ongoing issues with my family. She told me how I was on the run but she couldn’t pin point exactly what it is I am running from. Her accuracy shocked me but I tried hard not to let it show. I wasn’t prepared on giving her the satisfaction of seeing just how right she was. But she wasn’t looking for affirmation. Once my past was out of the way, she cleared her throat and asked if I was ready for my future. ‘As ready as I’ll ever be’ I thought and nodded.

She blended the cards and spread them out on the table and asked me to pick out nine of them. I listened attentively to her as she told me of a long overseas journey that was going to take place. It wasn’t a trip, she clarified, but a journey. As exciting as it sounded to me I wasn’t planning on going anywhere and my concentration started to weaken a bit. She then told me of an extension in my family. A baby was on its way. A child that would change everything. I listened as she went on to interpret my future as she saw it laid on the table, recording the session on a tape.
More events were mentioned but none that grabbed my attention as much as the last thing she said; ‘You will eventually meet someone, a man, and you will fall in love. This meeting is inevitable. It is meant to happen and it will be the love of your life. The only thing I can tell you about this man is that his name begins with the letter M.’

My thought at that moment was; ‘What a load of horse shit!’ I didn’t say it out loud but I nodded towards the lady, acknowledging her statement whilst wondering how many readings she finished with that line. It was a perfect ending to the foretelling of someone’s life; tell them what they really want to hear and make sure they walk out happy about paying an X amount for information that gives them hope for the future. A sigh of disappointment left my body. We were saying goodbye when she took my hand. ‘May I?’ she asked turning my palm towards her. Once again I nodded. ‘Just as I thought’ she said looking into my palm, ‘Your life is pre destined. See this line? It is your path. The path that will lead you to your destiny. It is the journey of fulfilment. You will stray from this path but don’t worry. It doesn’t matter, because you will find your way back in due time. Everything in your life is happening exactly the way that it should. You have a guardian angel watching over you, every step of the way, making sure that you are safe and carry on your journey. Fare well.’

I had just turned 20 when I had that reading done. It stayed in my mind for a short while but soon evaporated from my memory. It wasn’t until a few years later that I found the tape in an old shoebox filled with distant memories. Dusting it off I discovered the tape inside. I played it and suddenly the realisation of the clairvoyants accuracy hit me. Hard!

Over the course of the years her ‘predictions’ had come true. I had left London and returned to Sweden when my mother announced she was expecting a baby. My little brother was born and suddenly he was the new focus in my dysfunctional family. It took a lot of the heat of me and I felt liberated. No longer was I burdened to carry on the family name. It was a relief. As time went on I realised for the second time that Sweden wasn’t the place for me and I started looking for other excuses to leave. I found my salvation on a cruise ship, or more accurately; it found me. My godmother, who’d been working on the ship for years, told me that they were hiring and asked if I’d be interested in joining Crystal Cruises. Without batting an eyelid I agreed and I was off on a long journey over several seas. My travels were filled with excitement and even danger, suddenly reminding me of the notion of a guardian angel watching over me. I felt my heart racing in my chest. Everything the woman told me has happened. Pretty much down to the very last point – but there was one I was still waiting for. The letter M.

I have met a few men since then, and in all honesty, each time I met someone who’s name began with the letter M, I started to analyse them and my feelings for them. But never once did it ‘feel right’. After a while I dismissed that particular prediction as nonsense. Until one day..

In 2008 I returned to Serbia after 15 years absence. It was a journey of self discovery and it was also an eye opener. I realised what I had been missing all these years and the need to return there started to grow. I made some great friends and re connected with family members I thought I was never going to see again. I started to plan my return but with hesitation. I had become so westernised that it seemed farfetched having to adapt to a ‘new’ culture again. But still, the feeling at the pit of my stomach kept growing.

Then one day I saw Him.

Unexplainable in every way, I reacted to a picture of him. Mesmerised by his smile I started to fantasize about him. I had lusted over many men’s pictures during my time but there was something different about this guy. He woke up more than just desire inside me. There was something familiar about him that I just couldn’t put my finger on.
We started to chat. It turned out he was seeing someone. I felt like a balloon that had just been popped. ‘BANG!’

What devastated me even more was the person he was with. Somebody I vaguely knew. Someone I was supposed to have met when I visited Belgrade last time. Someone who’d randomly found me on Facebook and added me as a friend. And through him I found the man of my dreams. Who wasn’t available.

It didn’t stop a friendship developing. Over time we got to know each other. We shared some of our darkest moments and spontaneously laughed them off as important lessons in life. We connected in a way I never thought possible with someone who’d I never actually met face to face. The correspondence increased to a daily one, although very platonic. We’d actually become friends.
Eight months down the line his relationship ended. Suddenly, these feelings I’d been nurturing inside started to boil. I didn’t want to mention them. I didn’t want to ruin this great friendship we’d built up. But I couldn’t restrain it. The words came out like galloping wild horses. They marched right across the chat box one day and then there was silence as the dust settled. What have I done? Why did I have to say all that? What possessed me to mention anything and risk losing everything?
I think that somewhere deep down I knew what the answer would be but I was too scared too even hope for it. Maybe I had built up all of this in my mind. Imagined it like a fairy tale that can only live in my imagination, but what followed simply took my breath away.

He admitted to feeling the same way. He told me he was fighting the feelings because of the situation he was in and because of the impossibilities that seemed too dominant in our bond.I read on as he kept writing. My heart beating faster for every word that entered the screen. Is this really happening? Or is this yet another fantasy. A figment of my imagination?

In an instant my feelings multiplied, filling my entire being with love. Every molecule in my body was bursting with emotion and like a magnet seeking out it’s opposite, I was drawn to him.
What happened next were an incredible series of events leading me to this very day. A friend of a friend showed up in London and asked to meet for a coffee. We talked about life and everything in it before he asked me about my views on love. It was a random question but one I was happy to answer. I told him I was an incurable romantic and that I believed in True Love. I mentioned liking someone. I explained that we’d never met but that one day, we will. Suddenly he looked at me with a piercing, almost troubled look and told me the name of the man I was thinking of.

I froze.

How did he know? How could he possibly have known? I never mentioned his name! I never even described him or mentioned anything that could possibly have revealed his identity.‘Intuition’ said my new friend. ‘Just a feeling that turned up in my gut.’ I just sat there, staring at him. He went on to tell me that he knew this boy very well because he too had fallen for him some time ago. His feelings were unanswered and he felt that he had to abandon that friendship because it hurt too much. I felt bad. Here I was lusting for his unrequited love and he knew about it.We spent a day together and getting to know each other he told me how I reminded him of the boy we both care for. He was mesmerised by how alike we were, how we share same views, same stories and even same outlook on life. I was intrigued. I wanted to know more about the boy I had fallen in love with but he didn’t want to say too much. He told me that everyone deserves a chance to be portrayed as the person they want to portray themselves as when they meet someone and that his view on the boy wouldn’t necessarily be mine. Then he said something that shook me to my very foundation; ‘The two of you made for each other.’ This came from a man who was so in love with this person. I saw the hurt in his eyes but I also heard the sincerity in his voice. He meant what he said even though it pained him to say it.

We discussed this awkward coincidence. How come, out of all people in the world, he was the one who stepped into my life at this very moment?

I was meant to leave in a few weeks to go on holiday. It was a holiday I had been looking forward to but one I was a little apprehensive about. My ex had invited me down to Portugal for my birthday as he knew how much I loved travelling and I had never been. I was excited but in the back of my mind I was picturing our uncomfortable meeting. My new friend asked me if I loved him. I said I did but not in that way. Suddenly he told me not to go. I looked at him, surprised. ‘What do you mean?’ I asked.‘If you go, it will be a mistake. And I know you feel it too. You told me you believe that everything in life happens for a reason. Well, as hard as it is for me to admit to this, I think I know the reason why we are meeting now. I am here to tell you that you need to go to Belgrade. You have a date with destiny!’

I have been banging my head against a wall, pondering over this strange circumstance, when my thoughts took me to The Celestine Prophecy. Random coincidences that unbeknownst to you secretly show you the path you need to follow. Shivers rushed down my spine. Could this really be true? Was this my path making itself known to me?

Here I was, in love with a man I had never met. Wondering when we’d ever get the opportunity to meet when suddenly the opportunity presented itself like a pearly gate. I made my decision. I had to follow the signs. They were just too many and too real to be ignored and I couldn’t let this opportunity slip me by.

So here I am. The day before I am about to leave. I’m shaking and I’m scared. What if this incredible chemistry doesn’t translate in real life? What if he doesn’t like me? What if.. I don’t know. I don’t have those answers. All I have is my intuition that’s telling me what needs to be done. In the back of my mind the words of the clairvoyant ringing strong. Maybe she was right? She was right about everything else. Maybe this is the person I am meant to be with. The big L with a name beginning with the letter M.

I am embarking on a journey down my path of fate. I am following the signs. I am hoping they will lead me to my destiny. I am frightened but I am happy. And I am hopeful. Maybe my efforts will pay off and the path I follow will lead me to eternal happiness and unconditional love. Maybe I can make this fairy tale come true. And maybe, just maybe we will have our Happy Ever After...

DK