I figured it was something that was not going to happen in my life.
One day, when I was 23 (1993), I got a phone call.
A woman was on the other end, "Richard?"
"Yes, this is Richard - who is this?"
"My name is Shelly - this is kind of weird, I was going through some of my stuff, and I found one of Nichole's old phone books."
"Okay".
"It just seems like we have never met - Nichole was a friend of mine - I am wondering... who are you?"
"Oh, well, Aaron is my friend, and he and Nichole dated forever, and got married - I hung out with Aaron a lot, and sometimes both of them."
"Oh, okay - well, I guess that answers that", she giggled a bit.
"Okay - uh - have a nice day".
"You too".
We hung up. A few minutes later, the phone rang again.
I answered, "Hello".
It was the woman again, "I just had a crazy idea."
"Okay - what is your crazy idea?"
"How would you like to go on a blind date with me?"
"UGH. That is really not a good idea - I seem to rub women the wrong way - I do not know if I am unattractive or what - but it's not a good idea."
"Oh come on, you cannot be that bad..."
"No, I have to say no. Look, we can get together with Aaron and Nichole - go bowling or something."
"Ah, nah, that doesn't sound fun to me."
"Well, the answer is no - I gotta go".
"Oh, okay - bye"
We both hung up. I called Nichole.
"Hello"
"Hey, it's Rich - how much do you know about Shelly?"
"Oh, Shelly - why?"
"She says she came across one of your old phonebooks, and my name was in it - she was curious about me, and she just invited me on a blind date."
"Hey - cool Rich - that's great - Shelly is cool, you'll have fun."
"Well, actually, I turned her down."
"Why?"
"I do not do well with women - you know that."
"OK - let me tell you - Shelly is like way different - you should have accepted."
"Ok - whatever - I gotta go."
We hung up. I sat wondering, what if.... The phone rang.
It was the woman again, "OK, Here is the deal, I am really bored, and I am actually going to BEG you to come over. I have never been on a blind date, and I think this will be fun."
Keeping in mind what Nichole told me I said, "Well, alright - want to meet somewhere?"
"Actually, I do not have a car - can you come by and pick me up?"
"OK, sure, where do you live?"
She gave me directions to her house. I drove there - not expecting anything.
I approached the door; rang the doorbell.
One of the most beautiful blond haired women I have ever seen answered the door. She was thin, and had large breasts.
"Richard?" she said laughing.
"Yeah, I'm Richard - you are Shelly I take it".
"Oh my god." she said and she put her hands over her mouth.
She invited me in, and said, "excuse me a minute", giggling. She had two friends over, a man and a woman - they all went off down a hallway.
I shouted, "Mind if I smoke?"
A muffled, "Go ahead, we all smoke, ashtrays are on the table".
I lit a cigarette; smoked the whole thing.
I waited 15 minutes.
I smoked another cigarette.
I waited 5 more minutes.
The woman came out, "Ok, here's the deal... Were are going to stay here, and you're gonna take off."
I said with a smile, "This blind date gets weirder by the minute. Are you sure that's how this blind date stuff works?"
She sighed.
She paused for a minute and said, "I'm sorry... you are really unattractive - and I'm like - a hot chick - I'd be embarrassed to be seen with you."
My face went blank - I didn't say anything. I just turned around and left. When I got home, I played some video games.
I kept thinking - man, I should have listened to my instincts - I would have saved some time (and grief).
In case anybody is wondering just how unattractive I was - here is a photo of me when I was 23 (tuning my first guitar - a Peavey T60).
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